Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We talked him into tasing himself.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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