Kiss
Puke
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's never too late to be topless.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
where are my eyebrows?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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