then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
