Sry I called you an 8
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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