i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
