"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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