I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
