glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
