I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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