I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
