we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
