Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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