Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
