Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
