Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
