So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
