My nipple is on Facebook.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
