You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
