so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
