i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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