i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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