What did we do last night that was yellow?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
