Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
