If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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