Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
