Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She bit a glass in half.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
