$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
