Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Randomize
