oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
