that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
