Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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