After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
time to smoke my breakfast
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
