He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
