I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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