Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
