I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
