Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
