im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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