Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
