I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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