Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
