Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
