Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
