Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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