dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
