Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
