Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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