Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
