Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
