I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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