Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
