I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
